3) Who Are You Apologizing To, Anyhow?
If you’re feeling like you’re living apologetically, then it’s useful to understand that in all likelihood this is something you learned to do a long time ago.
There’s no reason to dwell on the fact, but it is often helpful to understand that the belief system behind feeling this way originated a long time ago, in a childhood far, far away….
Somewhere along the way you made the decision, based on the feedback from the people around you (maybe your parents, maybe the other kids in your 5th grade class, maybe your teachers or neighbors), not to trust your feelings, thoughts and instincts.
Maybe you were outright told things that made you doubt yourself and want to seek approval like:
• “You have no right to speak to me that way”
• “Don’t raise your voice at me”
• “Don’t be a crybaby.”
• “Stop being so selfish.” “It’s always about you, isn’t it?”
Maybe you just felt smaller/less athletic/poorer/less intelligent/fatter/less attractive/etc than the other kids in the class and that somehow gave you the idea that you were “less than”, less important, or overall not as good as others.
Either way, what probably got affected was your – I’m about to invent a word here, so bear with me – “okayness.”