1) Internalize this core idea: What You Think of Me Is None of My Business.
Other people’s hang-ups and judgments about you really have very little to do with you to begin with. It’s ALWAYS way more about them than it is about you.
Assuming you’re being a good person and trying to do the right thing, judgments from others are typically about them and their own need to make themselves feel better by being critical of others.
Get in the habit of making it about them. Remind yourself that other people’s negativity is not about you; it’s about them. This should become your mantra.
While we’re on the subject, even if it was about you, so what? Even if somebody did think you were a jerk, so what? What they think of you is none of your business! It’s their negativity and nonsense to deal with. If they want to waste their time finding fault in others, let them. You have better things to do with your life.
The more important question to ask here is “am I okay with myself and my reasons for doing the things I do?” If not, then you obviously need to take an inventory about the kinds of choices you’re making.
But if you’re trying to be the nicest, best person you can be, then let other people’s hang-ups be their own. Let go of it! Literally see yourself letting go of all the threads of anxiety you hold in connection to others evaluation of you.
Imagine you’re literally on a beach, holding those threads of anxiety. Now just let them go and watch them get carried out to sea…disappearing for good.
2) “No” Is A Complete Sentence. This is a very important principle to remember: “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to offer an explanation for it.
You can say “No” to cheesecake or a glass of wine for no other reason than you don’t want it!