The Reason Why You Are Not Losing Weight

by Joshua Wayne, MA

How To Change This Right Now…

I’ve been REALLY weak in writing articles of late and putting out new content.  It’s been bugging me, but I’ve been so busy with other stuff (you’ll find out about that soon….) that it has been an ongoing dialogue I have with myself in the back of my head – but it hasn’t yielded any more action that that for awhile now – maybe a couple months even.

I spend a lot of time THINKING about how I’d like to be putting a lot more content out there. I’ve got loads of ideas about the things I’d like to compose – long posts, short posts, videos, audios and all that.  Its actually something I enjoy doing – in many ways it’s my creative outlet.

Then I was laying in bed this morning at 6 a.m thinking about this, and then it struck me!

This is just like weight loss.
The reason I haven’t been getting into my creative flow is because it simply isn’t my priority right now. I would REALLY like it to be.  But look at my actions.  I simply haven’t been doing it. And as I hinted at, I have another priority.

So many people want to lose weight.  They want to shed pounds, feel better, look better, get fit and so forth. 

They buy tons of books about it, go to support meetings to talk about it, complain to their co-workers about it, buy products, consult with doctors, try new diets, try new pills, try a new exercise program, and then finally buy new bookshelves at Ikea because there no where else to put it all!

And yet, they don’t lose weight – or they do but then they don’t keep it off.

It’s so common for them to be stuck in this weight loss cycle for years on end.  20 pounds lost, 18 pounds gained back.  11 pounds lost, 14 gained back.  It’s like an ongoing zero sum game where you go down on an escalator Macy’s, just to turn around and go right back up again. 

And of course this leads to tons of frustration.

Why does this happen? 
Because in spite of their sincere desire to feel and look different, it just isn’t their priority to really change it.

More on this in a minute.  Please let me wander afield for a minute to make a point.  I promise I’ll come back : )

I used to do a lot of work with teenagers, their families and their schools.  It’s where I began my career as a social worker, then substance abuse counselor, then therapist, then public speaker, then (and now) coach. 

One of the biggest topics on adults minds in that field is how to reduce kids drug use.

We start “educating” them at a very early age – sometimes as young as 9 – about why they should “just say no”. 

And yet, if you talk to high schoolers today in urban and suburban areas – where I have most of my experience – they will share with you that by the time they reach senior year of high school, at least 90% of them are drinking alcohol on at least a semi-regular basis, and about 50% of them are smoking marijuana. 

(Disclaimer: These are not exact scientific numbers.  They are likely higher that the “official numbers” than you’ll see in sanctioned academic studies, but if you really get down in the trenches with teens and talk to them about what’s happening in their schools, you’ll find that my numbers are pretty consistent.)

My point is that there is something fundamentally wrong in the equation we are using to reduce kid’s substance use.  The intention of this article is not to proselytize about the better way to do this – incidentally, I do have a lot of ideas on this, but it is not within the purview of this article to address it here. 

I’m bringing it up to simply point out that the way we’re going about addressing the problem is fundamentally wrong.

And I think the same thing is wrong with most approaches to weight loss (told you I’d orbit back to this topic). 

Something is simply not working in this equation that we’re being sold from all directions about how to lose the weight we want. 

We’re promised over and over again that this diet or this exercise sequence will “deliver us from evil”, solve all our problems, and in 6 short weeks we’ll look like the chick or the dude on the exercise video from HSN.

I think a big piece of this comes down to priorities.  We can talk all we want about how we really want to lose weight, are thinking about really getting into the good diet advice that we read about on PEERtrainer or thinking about starting to move more every day.

But at the end of the day, you’re not losing the weight because it’s not really your priority to do so.

It’s sort of like window shopping, or just buying stuff for the entertainment of shopping, but then returning it later. (I learned this one from Jackie 😉

You don’t really intend to have a dress you take home and wear and enjoy.  You more just like the idea of the dress, and it’s like a form of ongoing entertainment thinking about all the great dresses you’d like to have.

At the end of the day, you don’t lose weight because the chocolate mousse that was served at your sister’s dinner party over the weekend was more important to you than losing weight.

Eating the great pizza, chips, dips and Margaritas your neighbors served at their Super Bowl party was more important than to you than losing weight.

One of the key things we focus on (and make a priority!) in the Point of No Return 12-week coaching program is to help people really shift these priorities. 

So the next time you start to feel frustrated about the glimpse you catch of your profile in the mirror, instead of feeling frustrated how the last diet you tried didn’t work out, instead sit down and make a list of your priorities in life. 

What are the 10 most important things to you in your life? 

Is your health and weight really on that list? 

If so, where is it?

Really work with your priority list.  Be ruthlessly honest with yourself.

Look at your actions as the evidence for what truly belongs where.  That no-holds-barred honesty may be the first necessary step to getting your priorities solidly in order. 

You may think that the Sunday football junk food is far less important than then being healthy when you’re 60 so you can chase your grandkids around the playground, but do you actions tell the same story?

Once you get that sense of where your priorities have been you are in a much better place to decide where you want them to be.

Better yet, take a few minutes right now and take a test drive of the Point Of No Return Program for a month. It will set you back a buck.

If you like my articles and the other articles on PEERtrainer, you’ll love this program. It is my priority, and the reason that I have not been writing is that I am spending all my time making it better and better.

You guys sometimes tell us that we are reading your minds. We are really only listening very carefully to you and providing answers to the questions you have. It is very simple, but we LOVE doing it.


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